Do Your Family Values And Finances Go Together

The way we feel about money and how we spend and use it often relates to what we value in life. Have you given thought to your family values and finances, and what they are teaching your children?

What are family values

The values that we hold are by the family we grow up with and often our friend group during that time as well.

When it comes to our own value and children, the family values will end up being a combination of the values you and your partner bring to the family.

Sometimes they align from the get-go, sometimes they can cause friction, especially if not discussed properly.

The values that you have with your partner will become those passed on to your children, at least to a degree.

So a united front when it comes to values can be a powerful way to teach some lifelong lessons which will affect the way your children manage money through their lives.

Family values and finances

The values you have affect what you spend money on and prioritise in your life.

This is because for most, money is a limited resource, we have to choose among options to what we spend our money on.

Do you prioritise traveling overseas over getting the latest phone model?

Sometimes our spending is not actually aligned with our values, so it is important to think and have conversation with your partner on what they are.

You might realise you don’t actually value what you have been spending money on, like those phone upgrades.

Giving up spending money on something that you don’t really value will increase the amount of money available to be spent on things that you do value and bring you joy.

Since in a family the values brought in by the partners can differ this means that sometimes we need to compromise.

For us for example, my partner has a project car that he is pouring money into. And when I say pouring I really mean it (at the time of writing the amount he has spent is nearing $20k). This means that the sleep out we want to build hasn’t been really as prioritised as I would like it to be.

But the car is important to him so I’m okay with the sleep out taking a bit more of a back burner right now.

My only condition for the car build was that I didn’t want the car build to change our current lifestyle, what we ate, or our ability to afford things for the kids etc. And my partner has been very good at saving for his purchases without compromising elsewhere.

Teaching values to your kids

Family values are often caught and not taught.

This means that we don’t really put conscious effort into teaching our kids our values, they will just observe our behaviour and draw their own conclusions from that.

This means that they might not actually realise what you really value because your behaviour and spending might not align with them, and as these are the only things that your kids will be able to see, they will draw the wrong conclusions.

In order to teach your values to your kids, you need to be clear on what they actually are. Then you need to align your spending and behaviour with those values.

There’s no point preaching about something that you don’t follow as well, your kids will pick up on that!

After you have your values sorted and behaviour aligned, you talk about them with your kids and show them in practice.

For example, if you value giving back, you talk about different ways to do that with your kids, then show them how you do that. This could be making donations (put coins in collection buckets with your kids when you see them, show them the brochures you get when you donate monthly for example) or donating your time for a cause.

If your kids earn pocket money you could make a rule where some of their money needs to be donated, and they can choose the cause themselves.

The main point is that for family values and finances to work together, and to teach them to your kids, you first need to be clear on what they are, then align your behaviour and spending with them.

Even if you don’t necessarily talk about them with your kids, they will pick up on your behaviour. But to really help them understand, talking about it and showing in practice is very important.

What do you value the most? Does your spending and behaviour align with that? Let’s chat in the comments!