How To Teach Delayed Gratification To Your Kids

What makes a good saver? Usually, if you are good at saving, you are able to wait for the nice and cool things, rather than having to get something straight away. The term for that is delayed gratification, but how to teach it to kids?

What is delayed gratification?

Delayed gratification is a central part of willpower and self-control.

It means that you are able to resist your urges and wants, rather than giving into them, sometimes to your own detriment (like financial wellbeing).

In other words, you realise there is merit in delaying getting what you want, either for a greater reward or for a higher satisfaction.

Essentially it is between choosing something right now and something else in the future.

The reason why one might struggle foregoing what they want now is the possibility that the future reward is not certain, whereas what you want now is immediately available and certain.

Trust in one being able to attain the future reward is an important factor in whether you can delay gratification.

Imagine if you had a savings goal with a timeline, that you knew you wouldn’t be able to reach. How motivated would you be to save?

Why you should teach it to your kids

A famous study was conducted in the 70s, where children were offered a marshmallow, and told if they waited (rather than eat it), they could get a second one as well. Then the researcher would leave the room and leave the child with the marshmallow.

Those children who were willing to wait for the second marshmallow, were later observed to perform better academically and showing fewer behavioural problems.

(The marshmallow study is a classic and a famous one, but it does have its criticisers.)

Later in life delayed gratification can help your kids stay out of unnecessary debt as they are able to save for things they want to have, rather than taking loans out for them.

This is essential for financial well-being, as often the items loans are taken out for decline in value but you end up paying more than they are worth due to interest charges.

How to teach delayed gratification to your kids

While our money personalities (where we are on the saver/spender scale) definitely has an effect how well we can delay gratification, it can be practiced and learned.

First of all it would be important to observe your child to figure out what kind of money personality they have.

This is because savers and spenders might need different kind of motivation to keep going, or more or less practice due to their natural tendencies.

You can help your children learn how to save and experience the benefits of delayed gratification by showing them how to make savings plans, and then practice.

The first plans should be for something relatively small so that they can get quick wins and experience the feeling of reaching a goal after working hard.

If the goal is too big, it can get frustrating and children might give up, preferring something immediate fun rather than working hard towards something that seems too far away.

First step of the savings plan is to figure out the cost of what they want. This is often easy, as it could be a toy, or anything like that really.

Then you can agree on a timeline with your child. When do they want to have their toy/item? Let’s use a month as an example, and the toy they want is $50.

You divide $50 by 4 (4 weeks in a month), and that gives you $12.50. So, they need to save $12.50 per week to get the toy they want in month’s time.

Next you help them figure out where to get the $12.50 per week. Do they work for pocket money? Can they pick up extra work at home? Start a paper run? Walk the neighbour’s dog? Babysit? Sell old toys they no longer want?

These of these are of course age dependent.

Encourage them as they go, and if they need extra motivation to keep going, you can use visual aids like a photo of they toy somewhere visible, or colouring charts, or getting stickers for every $5/$10. Whatever works really!

The important thing is to give the experience of success. If they believe they can do it, and you give them the tools to make a good plan for it to actually be possible, there’s no reason for them not become great savers who can reach bigger goals in their adulthood, like saving for a deposit or big overseas experience.

Best of all, you know you have given them the tools (and practice) to keep out of unnecessary and sometimes crippling consumer debt.

Does saving come easy for you? If you have kids, have you observed them to show tendencies to be a saver or spender? If you have any questions don’t hesitate to leave a comment!